For years I’ve been placing one foot in front of the other. My soles stamp the white grains of sand below, leaving a mark in the world.
If I look back, my footsteps go on for miles. They measure my path of existence. The spaces between them are irregular. The wider gaps reveal my trials and hesitancy to move forward. The smaller strides represent times of happiness and eagerness for the future.
By now, I am desensitized to the sound of waves splashing and scattering upon the land. The seagulls’ cries have become background noise; the coastal wind a tiring friend. I had once found joy in all of these things, but in a life like this, it quickly waned.
Along the way, tides of water constantly rushed upon my being. They reached high in yearning for my attention. It is God’s water.
I have realized my footprints could be swept away by that water. Every past step could be taken out to the blue beyond. It is only a matter of time. Some would never know I was here.
This is troubling. Few could follow and find me.
In the end I am walking along this shore alone.
The tide continues to wrap around my feet. It flows past, always revitalizing my sense of place. It cools my body and mind. It invites me.
I feel a change coming. All this time I have been afraid to swim, to believe I could float, to trust that a ship would come. I remained on shore, telling myself it was the safer, more enjoyable path. I had made a choice.
Should I change my mind?
I could stay upon the sand- at the mercy of the water- and wait for a storm to wash my life away. My life’s marks would be nice and temporary.
Or I could change my existence, not even worrying about the footprints. I could enter the water voluntarily, not waiting for the end, but embracing a beginning. I could start a new life in the water, where I had a feeling a ship would eventually come. The ship to eternity.
When it reaches me, God’s Son will extend his hand from the boat.
If I take it, I will forever be in God’s water.
The pains and washed steps of the shore left forgotten.
You will again have compassion on us; you will tread our iniquities underfoot and cast all our sins into the depths of the sea. -Micah 7:19