The ache is still there. It will leave someday. For now, it echoes existence. Sometimes I cannot comprehend the fluidity of life, its infinite shapes and forms. Colors, and shadows mixed with shades of light. A person has one mind, one conscience, to dictate its actions in an inescapable reality- life. To wake and sleep with flowing emotions, while leaving the rest of unanswerable questions to God. The future lies empty and perfect, as our dreams and desires rush to fulfill it. There are plots for manipulation, pain, and deceit. Next to those are innocent hopeful hearts, looking for love and comfort, a completeness. Knowledge then follows, sought if not in books or classrooms, in the rough tides of everyday dilemmas and timeless wonders.
Pain and peace. Two things humanity cannot live without, in a sensitive balance. See today’s newspapers, broad casts, internet feeds, cell phone texts. Sharing the same basic human lifts and falls as the civilizations centuries ago. Life is everywhere, its dark and light, made by a beautiful God who peers from above, with His waiting and wandering eyes over creation.
I know my voice shouts in vain right now, that writers have lamented, whispered about the tendencies and tragedies of mankind. Told its stories and ideas. And with them I ask, why? How far have we really come? Will cling to our short memories, believing things must break in order to be put back together again?
These deep lines entered my mind, simply by stepping back and looking at my own life. I’m not unhappy with it, or in fear and doubts about its sustenance. I have a Lord to turn to and provide reasoning behind my philosophies. It is only that after a stimulating novel, unforgettable game, warm acquaintance, or maybe a longing for family, I stop and feel the ache. That life always changes. It shifts and envelops our being, even when we cannot stand it or choose to embrace it. It is there. An ache with a challenge. That we stand up and continue our routines of school and work, love and play, sadness and regret. To continue under God’s hands, left to his innovations and emotions on Earth. I can be joyful in one moment, depressed in the next, but I feel. I am here.